Happy New Year

Hello, I hope you are well and keeping safe. Thank you for stopping by. Here is wishing you a wonderfully blessed new year. Despite all, we are still here.

Truth is, 2020 was a scary year and we hoped the virus would somehow disappear by the time we say “happy new year” however that is not the case. It was actually the first time we had to crossover into a new year with a 9pm curfew and were advised not to use fireworks and light a candle instead. Rules from level 3 lockdown that had to be put in place urgently as numbers kept increasing.

I am grateful that we are well, even though we all don’t feel 100%, I am glad we are all home, together with thankful hearts. My husband, a musician, saxophonist to be precise, released a music video today titled “Thank You Papa” which what we spent the whole day sharing on all our social media platforms.

See our message below for you as well:

๐ŸŽŠHappy New Year to you and your family. Join us to appreciate God with this new song titled

“Thank you Papa” ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ•บ

We pray 2021 will be a year of overflowing glory for us all.

Click here to watch the full video

I was the project manager for the production and it was such pleasure. We had a friend who graciously allowed us to use her and her husband’s home๐Ÿ˜‡ I am super grateful that we had friends who were available to support and be a part of the music video.

Please watch and let me know what you think. Feel free to like share and subscribe to his YouTube channel.

I go back to work on Monday the 4th of January and really wish that I had another two weeks of holiday to rest and spend time with my children but what can I say, duty calls!

Keep well, stay hydrated, be happy, be kind, stay positive and laugh often. All will be well. I’ve got to go for now.

Have a wonderfully blessed 2021 I hope that we all reap positive outcomes to steps we have taken prior to now. Bye ๐Ÿ‘‹

Mummy, why are you grumpy today?

Hello, how are you doing? How have things been for you personally, mentally, emotionally and ebey other “ally”? 2020 has really been quite the year and has been full of ups and downs. While some are really struggling financially with job loss or salary cuts, some are making it quite big and are super thankful for how much they have been able to achieve. Before I proceed, let me start by saying thank you for stopping by to read from me. I appreciate it : ) Well, how am I doing? Can I really answer that honestly? I will try.

I will start off by saying I am grumpy, yes, grumpy. However, I didn’t come up with that word, my five year old son did. He was playing a 2048 game I had just taught him, looked up and asked me in a straightforward manner “mummy, why are you so grumpy today”? That for me was a loaded question. For one, it meant that I had been that grumpy for him to have noticed and I had a rethink and realized that I had snapped at him and his sister a few times that day. What I would have lovingly or patiently answered was answered in a different way. He noticed. Besides snapping at him, I just wasn’t my usual cheerful and playful self. Why was that?

It was because I let my financial struggles affect my mood so badly that it was so glaring so much so that a child noticed it. I just got to a point where I had enough of constantly only paying bills and my income did not meet up. I started a business in February 2020 with high hopes, however Covid found a way to delay its progress and since it was already established to a certain level, I had to keep digging into my already not enough income to sustain the business and I’m still digging deep. I know that I will still make profit but just wish that I had enough and don’t need to struggle with finances. I wish there was a way to get funding to support but not even sure where to begin with that process.

Secondly, why are you so grumpy today meant that on most days, I wasn’t grumpy lol. The word “today” in the sentence sounded positive to me in the sense that my boy knew that mummy is usually not grumpy or that mummy is mostly in a carefree, grateful mood, almost all the time. We play a lot, we joke so much for ~ he has such a great sense of humor and his sister is quickly picking up tips from him. They make me laugh a lot and make me very grateful to have them in my life. I don’t take that for granted at all. I only some times secretly pray that they wouldn’t experience lack, which I did whilst growing up. I am working hard to prevent that but also trust God to prosper us enough that we wouldn’t experience lack but rather have so much abundance that we can even be a source of blessing to others.

Another thing I can pick out of the grumpy statement is that my son is very observant and caring. He easily notices how I feel and has words for them. If he wants to play catch for example, he would ask me “mummy, what is your energy level? Is it high, low or medium”? If I said low, he would then say “okay, mommy, I wanted to play catch but we can play a board game”. He works with my mood/energy level and always made sure he left me better, happier and even gets me to laugh and become more energetic! He does the same for food. Knows when to ask for a sandwich and when to ask for grilled chicken and chips! He knows when to play with his active 21 month old sister so I can get some rest or get some work done. Also, I work from home and he is my timekeeper “mummy, it is 5pm, you can close your laptop now” and several other instances. He is such a blessing to me.

Finally, I would say that being grumpy doesn’t really change anything positively. I was grumpy but it didn’t mean that the financial situation improved or anything like that, so why worry? I know, it’s easier said than done, especially for me, at this stage of my life where I have so many plans and great ideas that can impact but not stable enough to execute them so I get that feeling of being wasteful with my gifts and ideas or the feeling of hoarding them and not sharing my experiences that could be a blessing or lesson for others, which is not the case.

Moving forward, I will keep being my cheerful self and try as much as possible not to be grumpy anymore. I will find time to write more amidst my 9-5, business, wifely duties, parenting, daughtering, writing a book and so many other functions that I have to “function” in properly. Writing makes me feel better, takes a huge weight off my chest, gives me an avenue to think aloud and generally take me out of my grumpy mood.

So, how are you doing? Feeling grumpy? Why? Try not to be grumpy, not worth it! Thank you once again for stopping by to read this. Feel free to leave a comment and I hope you will stop by next time. Keep well, stay safe and be the best version of yourself!

My First Birthing Experience ~ JBoy

Hi, I hope you are well and keeping safe. I am keeping safe : ) It is a weekend and I absolutely love the weekends because I get to spend quality time with my children and do other stuff I don’t get the chance to do during work week. I also get to reflect and think about all the things I’ve been through, how I survived and where I am now.

One of the experiences I am currently reflecting on was when at 33 weeks, I went for a gynae visit on a Thursday and had the baby 2 days after ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ yes, that’s right and that is what I am sharing in this post. It was not a funny or easy experience and looking back now, I can only be grateful for strength from above because I wouldn’t have pulled through without it. It is a story about how a gynaecologist visit turned out to be an emergency delivery.

When I was 32 weeks pregnant, I fell down the stairs but I guarded my belly so I thought that since I did and I felt okay, all was well. A few days after, I noticed that my boy was no longer kicking as usual. There was a particular song that I always sang for him which got him kicking every time but it did not work this time. My husband, who plays the saxophone, also had a particular song he played for him and when he did, there was just a tiny little kick like to say, I’m still here. I knew he was still there but wasn’t really himself so I called the gynae to move my weekly visit from Friday to Wednesday and his PA told me he was out of the country. I said to her that I was going to find another gynae to check us asap however the earliest appointment I got was for Thursday at noon. First thing on Thursday morning, we went to pick my mom who had just arrived from a 6 hour trip. The plan was for her to come a little earlier so we could do the baby shopping together. I hadn’t bought anything. Nothing at all! About 8am, I received a call to inform me that my gynae had landed and he could see us at 10am. I was really glad because I was used to him, would have been awkward seeing someone different and narrating the whole pregnancy journey in one visit. Hubby and I got there right on time and when it was our turn, we went in and chatted a bit. He asked some questions during the consultation and said it was time for the scan.

Hmm, as soon as he did the scan, his face changed. The look on his face scared me. He said to us and I quote “we have to get your baby out this weekend”. I said to him, no please, I will rest more, eat better and every other thing I could think of because I suffered anemia throughout the pregnancy so I thought I only needed to take care of myself a little more. However he said to me that the only way my baby could survive was if he was taken out by the weekend and so, without much choice, I got admitted and got the first steriod shot almost immediately, for the lungs to develop.

Long story short, on Saturday, two days after the gynae visit, at 10:18am, my son was delivered and he weighed 1.6kg. He had to be taken out asap due to what was explained to me as “placenta insufficiency”. He was no longer receiving enough blood and oxygen from me which explained why he didn’t have enough strength to kick when we sang/played his favorite songs. Fast forward to date, he is now 5 years old and is very healthy and very intelligent. He makes me super proud and is such a sweet little boy! That is my miracle boy with his little sister in the picture : )

Did I cry during that experience? Of course, several times! The worst part for me was when I was discharged five days after delivery and had to go home without my baby boy. That surely wasn’t the plan, no, not at all. But guess what? I survived it! How? It felt like I wouldn’t be able get through the situation. To be honest, not quite sure but I went to NICU almost every day and took him expressed milk, did the kangaroo anytime the nursing sisters allowed me to and most importantly, I kept praying. It took him a while before he gained 2kg, the special expected weight gain for preemies. He eventually got to 2kg and he could have his first bath!! Exactly four weeks after, we could take him home! Oh the joy and excitement!!

Looking back now, I realize that there are lessons to pick from the experience. Number one, no matter how difficult a situation looks, it will always get better with time and if you believe. I prayed so hard and hoped that we wouldn’t spend more than a week but in the fullness of time (4 weeks) he was discharged. Yes, not as quickly as I wanted but he was discharged and has been with us since then. I am super grateful for how healthy he has been since then. Lesson two, please pay attention to your body and your baby whilst pregnant. Keep a record of kicks and compare. If not sure, see a gynae. I would have seen someone else, just to be sure. The third lesson is that pregnant women should not leave their shopping till the last minute! No, don’t do that!! Start buying things in bits and pieces. My sister had to go and do all my baby shopping in one day and in a rush. She was shopping whilst I was in the theater. I don’t think that would have been a good experience for her and for me as I didn’t get to choose what I really wanted but to be honest, I loved all that she bought. I am sure there are many more lessons from this experience but I will stop here. Please feel free to leave more lessons in the comment section so mothers-to-be can learn from them.

Thank you so much for reading, I am glad you stopped by. What do you think of this experience? The birth of my second child is another lengthy story, for another post๐Ÿ™‚ Have you had any experiences that you look back and are not quite sure how you survived it? Let’s read it, it might encourage someone out there! I hope mine has encouraged someone out there and let them know that they will pull through and all will be well๐Ÿ˜‡ please like and share till someone who needs to read this, gets to read it. And kindly subscribe for more life experiences in short blogs (I hope this qualifies as short).

Keep well, stay safe. Bye for now.

Heart in my mouth!!

Hi, thank you for stopping by. How are you doing? How have you been? How is work? How is your business doing? It has been a while and all sorts have happened to me but here I am, live and direct!

Today, I am going to write about the event that occurred around this really cute picture that got my heart right in my mouth, yes in my mouth! It was in December, a few years ago when my son was about three years old. He had a playdate with a friend’s child and we had decided to go to a family restaurant called Papachinos because it had a play area and we thought the children could play there and have a nice time there. The particular restaurant actually had two play areas, one inside where one had to pay to get on some rides and another one outside with swings and slides and others they could access for free while we ate.

When we got there, my precious JBoy was really excited because I had taken him there a few times and he loved the place. He started jumping and was pointing to the indoor play area but I said to him, baby, we are playing in the outdoor area today. He was a little upset but got over it quickly. We were seated and placed our various orders, ate and the children kept playing in the outdoor area and were obviously enjoying themselves. Between my friend and I, we took turns looking after our children whilst they played and had a fun date. Then it happened, I suddenly could not find my son. I looked everywhere, no sign of him, I asked his friend where he was, she didn’t know. We asked the waiters, everyone joined us in the search. My friend started to panic but I was calm. Calm because I know the restaurant well and was sure that they wouldn’t have let a little boy leave by himself so I knew he was still inside the restaurant with us. I checked the bathroom, asked a gentleman to help look in the men bathroom. Finally, I went back to the indoor play area to check again, there he was on the horse with this look on his face. Till date, I still have no exact words to express what emotion/s I felt when I found him- relief, joy, anger, understanding, all sorts. Understanding, because I remembered that he initially wanted to play there and I had said no so he had to find a way to get there. Where he was when I first checked and didn’t find him, I guess I will never know but I felt super grateful that we found him. My heart started moving slowly back into its right position.

He had never done anything like that before, ever, which means that he really wanted to play in that indoor area. My thinking was, why pay when there are so many free rides, and I’m guessing his thinking was, why can’t I get on this horse ride, just once and see how it feels : ) He caused me panic but I learned a lot from that experience. The major thing I learned was that I should say yes sometimes, if I can put it that way. Children honestly just want to experience a particular thing and not just “waste” money as we are quick to think.

I must praise myself though! I’ve always been known to be calm and peaceful even in crazy situations but in this experience, I actually outdid myself. I just knew he was going to be found right there and within the restaurant. I also knew that panicking wouldn’t have made much difference during the search. Looking back now, I have surely been more watchful over him and he has also grown to a level where he can effectively communicate and be clear with his requests and making sure I understand why he is making such a request ๐Ÿ˜‡

Yes, that was my heart in my mouth experience. Have you experienced any? At work, family event, vacation? Feel free to share in the comment section๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿคญ please like, share and subscribe to encourage me. Thank you for reading this. I hope you stop by next time.

Keep well, stay positive, all will be well, if you believe. Bye for now!!

Does Kindness Really Come Back?

dayne-topkin-u4bZQUeo2Q8-unsplashHi guys, thanks for stopping by to read this. I will make it a quick one : )

Does kindness really come back to you? Does kindness get repaid? Does something happen to you and you are able to link it with something you did for someone else? Do you ever feel like your acts of kindness never gets “rewarded”?ย 

Well for me, there is no straight answer to these questions because for many years, I’ve felt unrewarded for some things I did for people. Not that I expected a reward from the people I was being kind to or helpful towards but I expected that when it is my turn in the future, I would also get help. For example, I’ve always always loved children and helped as many people as I could with their children for as long as I can remember. I babysat children for fre so their parents could go out or go write exams or attend job interviews or simply just rest. At some point back then if a school bus drove past on my street and I was outside, one could hear children calling out my name : ) Those children really enjoyed being with me. Fast forward to now, I thought that I would enjoy the same but no, nothing of that sort. It is either I cancel that event I had planned or hubby stays with the children,ย  almost every time!! That being said, I am glad I helped out those parents years ago, at least now I know how much it meant to them because at that time, it meant nothing to me, I simply enjoyed taking care of children.

However, there is one act of kindness that I did and got rewarded for even though I had no clue that I would. Hubby and I live in a really small 2 bed apartment and because of how things are financially, we let the room out from time to time for Aibnb. One day, we got a request from a friend of a friend asking us to please host their cousin for a week, for free. There was no connection, a friend of a friend’s cousin? Anyway, we accepted to help and guess what? The lady we agreed to help called me, mid way during their journey at a stop over to say that she was coming with her cousin. Hmm, I felt it was too late to complain and hosted them. The lady slept in the guest room and the cousin slept on the couch. We cooked for them throughout their stay and made them feel comfortable. We took them on a mini tour of the city and they generally had a nice time.

A few weeks later, the cousin’s cousin called to ask if I was still job hunting as I had been desperately searching for a job to support my family and so I said yes. Long story short, he helped out, advised and recommended me for a job. I did three interviews and I got the job! Was my act of kindness in hosting a stranger rewarded? Yes. Did I expect it? No, not in the least bit.

Moral of my story, do what you can, help where you can, be kind when you can, reach out, smile to someone. Acts of kindness are usually rewarded but mostly in ways we do not expect. When something good happens to you, it actually might be as a result of something unrelated that you did for someone else, ages ago or weeks ago, depends on how quickly it happens. That is how I choose to see it.ย 

What do you think? Does kindness really come back to you? I would like to read from you and possibly learn a thing or two. Thank you for reading, see you next.ย 

Keep well and stay safe!

Failure to Launch!

kurt-cotoaga-0b5g9_pnMqc-unsplashFailure to Launch Movie (2006)

There is a 2016 Romance/Comedy movie produced by Scott Rudin and directed by Tom Dey where the guy failed to launch because he was comfortable! The main acts were my two favorite at the time Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. Tripp (played by Matthew) was a 35 year old man who didn’t want to leave his parents home to stand on his feet. He obviously scared women off, I mean who wants to be with a man who still lives with his parents and is proud of it? They all dumped him. His parents then planned to “employ” Paula to help get him out! Paula (played by Sarah) believed that men continue to live at home because they have low esteem and her plan was to help him boost his confidence. Long story short, I have the same experience but in a different way.

 

I opened up my first blog in 2014, and then 2016, and then in 2018 and then now but I never really launched out. Why? If anyone asks me, I can’t really say why. I enjoy all forms of writing, academic, fiction and more especially writing about my experiences. I feel relaxed and write so much. For university assignments and research proposals, my issues were always writing way too much and struggling to stick to the word limit.

Why didn’t I launch out? It could be because I was like Tripp, hiding in my comfort zone. Not like I was comfortable with being so knowledgeable, understanding, wise and how helpful I can be in terms of research and keeping all that to myself. However something just held me back. I was comfortable with those who knew me chatting with me to say, hey Seun, how do I write a research proposal and I sent links or someone says please I need to open an Instagram business page and I help them design a logo and open up the account for them. Or someone says they are struggling with how to define their eyebrows and I send a short video clip to show them how to. Or someone says their meatpies don’t close up when they bake them and I show them what to do. I know God has blessed me and I am so grateful for that. So why didn’t I launch out? No idea. Probably Paula was right to attach it to low self esteem or I can add lack of confidence and guess what, like Tripp, most of my friends dumped me! Ouch.

 

Anyways, I am glad that I have finally launched out, hence the name “shefinallywrites”. This is also to say that my failure to launch early enough means that I have to share some of the stories and experiences that I would have shared back then. My initial plan was to post every Friday night but I think I will make it weekend posts. I will write as I get the opportunity to and post immediately so pardon me if there are no catchy phrases or links or anything expert bloggers do right now, I promise I will get there. If necessary. Get ready to read and read and read from me and please encourage me by interacting with the posts, thank you!

 

I think I need to stop for now and be back in my next post. Do have a lovely weekend and remember that you matter, never forget that. You mean the world to someone, at least someone. Someone out there is inspired by you, either secretly or you know. Keep well, stay safe and stay strong!! See ya ๐Ÿ™‚

Welcome once again :)

This is my welcome message and I am so glad that you are reading this because it means that this lady finally launched out. Honestly, I am not quite sure what has held her back for so long but as with life, when it’s time, then it’s time. Wait, why am I writing in third person singular? Well, she is me and I am very happy to be the one that you will be reading from every Friday night and I hope we get to relate with one another and learn from one another.

Mostly, I just like to pour out my thoughts and I find that I feel relieved when I am able to write. It makes me feel like I have spoken to someone and they heard me. Which means that now, I will be sharing my life experiences, knowledge, wisdom, lifestyle and thoughts with you, yes you and I hope you get to do the same. I also will write about life as a woman who is a wife, mother, has a career and has businesses she is trying to establish. What are my coping techniques? How do I find time for me? Am I a strict parent? Is my hair afro? All these things I will write about and more.

I think I need to stop for now ๐Ÿ™‚ and if you read it to this point, I am saying welcome once again, thank you for clicking and reading. Does that rhyme? Yes, a little bit.

Stayed tuned to read more from me. I am glad that she finally writes. I look forward to reading from you from time to time in the comment section. Keep well.

About Me

I am me and no one else : ) Currently, I am employed as an International Student Advisor and I assist students who want to study abroad from applications to visa preparation up until the enrol in a university of their choice in a country of their choice.

I am also self employed and I write, edit, proofread and tutor. I assist students who need guidance with their personal statements to make it on point. I also sell beautiful scarves called pashmina and unique fabrics called Ankara. I also cook a lot for my family and for those who like to buy home made dishes and store in their freezers ๐Ÿ™‚

In my posts, I will write on a variety of topics ranging from education, study abroad, language use, marriage, parenting, lifestyle and other topics that come to mind. My writing will be personal and feel like I am speaking with someone I know.

I am married with two wonderful children. I love my family and enjoy spending a great deal of time with them. I hope to share my life experiences as much as I can and also learn from my you through your comments.

Thank you and welcome to my page. I appreciate you stopping by ๐Ÿ™‚

You are Welcome!!

If you are reading this, then it means you are on my blogspot and reading my very first post (well not first post for some, I realized I didn’t publish it)! So I say to you, welcome and thank you for stopping by.
She Finally Writes will mainly be an interactive blog where I will post my original articles that will hopefully lead to useful discussions as well as question and answer sessions.
The proper use of English is quite important to me therefore, I will post some articles that have to do with English language grammar. I will give some lessons and tips from time to time and I will also answer questions I get along the line.
I am also a loving wife and a caring mother. This means that this blog will also have posts with regards to helpful marriage and parenting tips that have worked for me. I believe these tips will also work for at least one other person than myself.
Finally, there will be posts about general experiences about living away from home. Home being either your country of nationality or a country where you lived for several years before relocating to where you are now. These will come from my experience of being away from home for seven years and those of friends from different countries that I’ve met whilst here, who are also away from home.
I am so excited and can’t wait to begin! I sincerely hope that this blog will make me happy that I finally decided to start writing and sharing my thoughts and life experiences. Once again, welcome to my blog. Thank you.
Enjoy!!!

Beautiful quote

โœQuote for the dayโœ

Coffee never knew it will taste nice and sweet, before it met sugar and milk. We are good as individuals but become better when we blend with the right people. The world is full of nice people, if you can’t find one, be one.ย 
The richest wealth is wisdom. The strongest weapon is patience. The best security is faith. The greatest tonic is laughter, and the greatest force is love. The surest assurance is hope in God. And the source of our strength is the joy of the Lord. Surprisingly all are free. So enjoy them!

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