Hello May

Hello May, welcome!! May is special to me because it is my birth month! I was born on the 30th of May and always super grateful. Also, I have two siblings (we’re three women in total) and we were all born in May! Yes May. My mom was not intentional about giving birth to us all in May, it just happened that way. My younger sister was born on the 21st of May, my older sister on the 15th of May and then I was born on the 30th of May!!

I haven’t really ever celebrated my birthday as such so I’m hoping to do something this year no matter how small as it falls on a Sunday. Maybe a small get together if my finance allows that but it would really make me glad if I’m celebrated this year!!

Birthdays make us look back and reflect on how far we have come and also reflect on what we can do better in the following year. Right now, I’m grateful for my job, my side business, friends and family and most importantly my health!! My health has not been 100% but I still get up and push with the hope that I will be perfectly fine one day soon.

What are you happy for in this new month? Any special goals? New plans in the pipeline? Writing a book? Building a house? Relocating? Whatever it is, please go for it and believe that you can do it! For me, I’d like to try affiliate marketing and I’m currently taking some courses and trainings to help me get started. If you have any tips, please drop it in the comment section, I’ll be so grateful to read and learn from you! Thank you for stopping by and do have a wonderfully blessed now month of May!! Bye for now ๐Ÿ‘‹

How JGirl was born~ Baby #2

Hi, I hope you are well and keeping safe. I am well, thanks for asking : ) First day back at work wasn’t so bad after all. I spent half of it replying emails that had piled up from students’ enquiries and putting in some applications. Some students also called to inform me that they had received their visas. So I can say my day went well. I’ve had dinner and now about to put lil miss J to bed and it is amazing how much she has grown! My baby will be two years old on the first of February! That is less than a month to go. Time flies indeed. Feels like yesterday when I spent three weeks in hospital to have her! Read below a very summarized version of her delivery.

Just like her brother’s birth, I thought I was going for a gynae visit but ended up having my bundle of joy. If you haven’t read about JBoy’s gynae visit turned into a delivery story, here is the link Gynaecologist visit or delivery? He was born at 33 weeks and is now five years old, turns six on the 28th of February (he already knows what cake he wants, usually knows the character cake he wants like a year or two before, lol). I will write about all his cakes and post the pictures off all the ones I find. Both my babies were born in February, not planned at all. One had an April due date and the other was meant to be born in March but I didn’t have the final say. Back to my story.

This time, I no longer had medical aid and had to register at an Academic hospital as that was what we could afford at the time. My first child was born at a private hospital, all fancy and classy, well, we had to face reality and use what we could afford. Thankfully, I received 100% quality of treatment at both hospitals. On the 21st of January 2019, with pregnancy almost 32 weeks, I went for my gynae visit in Pretoria, about 40 minutes from where we live. I got there and joined the queue. When it was my turn, I did all the tests we were asked to do, which included the urine test. We did all those checks before seeing the doctor, actually, a team of doctors because my case was a special case. Due my existing health condition, both my pregnancies were considered high risk. When it was my turn, I went in, and realized that they were not as chatty as before. I like to talk and make people talk as well, making jokes and all but that day was different. They said to me that they found a high level of protein in my urine and that my blood pressure was quite high. I always had low blood pressure, some times even too low so this was strange. I was told that I had to be admitted immediately. Funny enough, the one things that came to mind was my job- what do I say? I only asked for a day off and I had promised that my pregnancy wouldn’t interfere with my job so how was I going to ask for one more day? The doctor wrote me a sick leave note to solve that. I wasn’t too bothered with my son because he and his father got along very well and I knew they would be able to function without me for a few days. Little did I know that I was going to be there for the next three weeks.

Yes, I was there up until the 5th of February, 2019! I was placed on admission on the 21st of January with the hope that the protein in my urine would be back to normal and that my BP would normalize. Well, neither happened and I had to be there till I reached 34 weeks and baby was brought out. The time there was not easy for me. I try not to be a workaholic but I had to have my laptop brought in so I could do some work. Not too much but enough to clear out urgent matters and to keep me distracted from being in hospital. That gave me some sanity, a little bit, lol. My legs also started swelling up so much like I had never seen them before and I gained a lot of weight! I am very small in stature and had never gone past 59kg (pregnancy weight) so when I weighed 68kgs from a normal weight of 52kgs, I am sure you can imagine how swollen and puffy I looked. It was preeclampsia!! My diet was changed and I got so many treatments, all sorts and when it kept worsening, I was given the 1st of February for emergency C-Section and by 10:36am on the date, lil’ miss J was born and I also requested for BTL and got it done same time. Baby weighed 2.01kg and breathed fine but was placed in NICU for 48 hours to be observed. She was discharged two days later, before me! But of course, she had to stay with me till I was discharged on the 5th of February.

I hadn’t done my shopping! Oh no, not again, the exact same thing happened with JBoy and it happened again. I am usually a last minute shopper, for almost everything. So bad that I still shopped a day before my wedding so, yeah, that is my nature and will make plans to change one day. This time however, my sister that did the shopping the other was not available so my husband and one of his friends at that time did my baby girl’s shopping! Can you imagine that at all? They tried, got the basics and then they bought a blanket that I would never have bought had I done the shopping but I had to suck it up hahaha. We still use that blanket till date and lil’ miss J now knows how to say the word “blanket” when she wants me to put her on my back with it. It is our special blankie.

Same lessons from my previous gynae post, things seems really hard when we are in it and experiencing it but looking back now, there is so much to be thankful for. She was born at 34 weeks but did not need the NICU. If she had, like her brother needed it and had to be there for four weeks, we wouldn’t have been able to afford it financially, driving back and forth, visiting, taking expressed breast milk and we wouldn’t have been able to afford renting a place close by so we were grateful that five days after her birth, we both went home. No one was left behind. So grateful to God for that. Also, my mom arrived two days after and I was so glad that yet again, we decided to apply for her visa earlier than necessary so she flew down as soon as she received her visa, literally a day after! So for things like organising a visa or planning an event and bigger things, I am more organised but baby shopping, not so much. That is why we all have our strengths and weakness right?

What do you think about my experience? Being placed on admission at 32 weeks for both pregnancies? Having two preemies? They are now both super healthy and strong. When someone says their water broke, I just smile, I have no idea what that feels like. All in all, I am very grateful and thankful for both of them. So different and yet so alike. Do you know anyone who had a preemie and is worried? Tell them all will be well! I know people’s stories and situations are different but we can draw strength and inspiration and courage from the stories of others! That helped me a lot. I will stop here for now. I know it was such a long read and if you read up to this point, thank you!

Mummy, why are you grumpy today?

Hello, how are you doing? How have things been for you personally, mentally, emotionally and ebey other “ally”? 2020 has really been quite the year and has been full of ups and downs. While some are really struggling financially with job loss or salary cuts, some are making it quite big and are super thankful for how much they have been able to achieve. Before I proceed, let me start by saying thank you for stopping by to read from me. I appreciate it : ) Well, how am I doing? Can I really answer that honestly? I will try.

I will start off by saying I am grumpy, yes, grumpy. However, I didn’t come up with that word, my five year old son did. He was playing a 2048 game I had just taught him, looked up and asked me in a straightforward manner “mummy, why are you so grumpy today”? That for me was a loaded question. For one, it meant that I had been that grumpy for him to have noticed and I had a rethink and realized that I had snapped at him and his sister a few times that day. What I would have lovingly or patiently answered was answered in a different way. He noticed. Besides snapping at him, I just wasn’t my usual cheerful and playful self. Why was that?

It was because I let my financial struggles affect my mood so badly that it was so glaring so much so that a child noticed it. I just got to a point where I had enough of constantly only paying bills and my income did not meet up. I started a business in February 2020 with high hopes, however Covid found a way to delay its progress and since it was already established to a certain level, I had to keep digging into my already not enough income to sustain the business and I’m still digging deep. I know that I will still make profit but just wish that I had enough and don’t need to struggle with finances. I wish there was a way to get funding to support but not even sure where to begin with that process.

Secondly, why are you so grumpy today meant that on most days, I wasn’t grumpy lol. The word “today” in the sentence sounded positive to me in the sense that my boy knew that mummy is usually not grumpy or that mummy is mostly in a carefree, grateful mood, almost all the time. We play a lot, we joke so much for ~ he has such a great sense of humor and his sister is quickly picking up tips from him. They make me laugh a lot and make me very grateful to have them in my life. I don’t take that for granted at all. I only some times secretly pray that they wouldn’t experience lack, which I did whilst growing up. I am working hard to prevent that but also trust God to prosper us enough that we wouldn’t experience lack but rather have so much abundance that we can even be a source of blessing to others.

Another thing I can pick out of the grumpy statement is that my son is very observant and caring. He easily notices how I feel and has words for them. If he wants to play catch for example, he would ask me “mummy, what is your energy level? Is it high, low or medium”? If I said low, he would then say “okay, mommy, I wanted to play catch but we can play a board game”. He works with my mood/energy level and always made sure he left me better, happier and even gets me to laugh and become more energetic! He does the same for food. Knows when to ask for a sandwich and when to ask for grilled chicken and chips! He knows when to play with his active 21 month old sister so I can get some rest or get some work done. Also, I work from home and he is my timekeeper “mummy, it is 5pm, you can close your laptop now” and several other instances. He is such a blessing to me.

Finally, I would say that being grumpy doesn’t really change anything positively. I was grumpy but it didn’t mean that the financial situation improved or anything like that, so why worry? I know, it’s easier said than done, especially for me, at this stage of my life where I have so many plans and great ideas that can impact but not stable enough to execute them so I get that feeling of being wasteful with my gifts and ideas or the feeling of hoarding them and not sharing my experiences that could be a blessing or lesson for others, which is not the case.

Moving forward, I will keep being my cheerful self and try as much as possible not to be grumpy anymore. I will find time to write more amidst my 9-5, business, wifely duties, parenting, daughtering, writing a book and so many other functions that I have to “function” in properly. Writing makes me feel better, takes a huge weight off my chest, gives me an avenue to think aloud and generally take me out of my grumpy mood.

So, how are you doing? Feeling grumpy? Why? Try not to be grumpy, not worth it! Thank you once again for stopping by to read this. Feel free to leave a comment and I hope you will stop by next time. Keep well, stay safe and be the best version of yourself!

My First Birthing Experience ~ JBoy

Hi, I hope you are well and keeping safe. I am keeping safe : ) It is a weekend and I absolutely love the weekends because I get to spend quality time with my children and do other stuff I don’t get the chance to do during work week. I also get to reflect and think about all the things I’ve been through, how I survived and where I am now.

One of the experiences I am currently reflecting on was when at 33 weeks, I went for a gynae visit on a Thursday and had the baby 2 days after ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ yes, that’s right and that is what I am sharing in this post. It was not a funny or easy experience and looking back now, I can only be grateful for strength from above because I wouldn’t have pulled through without it. It is a story about how a gynaecologist visit turned out to be an emergency delivery.

When I was 32 weeks pregnant, I fell down the stairs but I guarded my belly so I thought that since I did and I felt okay, all was well. A few days after, I noticed that my boy was no longer kicking as usual. There was a particular song that I always sang for him which got him kicking every time but it did not work this time. My husband, who plays the saxophone, also had a particular song he played for him and when he did, there was just a tiny little kick like to say, I’m still here. I knew he was still there but wasn’t really himself so I called the gynae to move my weekly visit from Friday to Wednesday and his PA told me he was out of the country. I said to her that I was going to find another gynae to check us asap however the earliest appointment I got was for Thursday at noon. First thing on Thursday morning, we went to pick my mom who had just arrived from a 6 hour trip. The plan was for her to come a little earlier so we could do the baby shopping together. I hadn’t bought anything. Nothing at all! About 8am, I received a call to inform me that my gynae had landed and he could see us at 10am. I was really glad because I was used to him, would have been awkward seeing someone different and narrating the whole pregnancy journey in one visit. Hubby and I got there right on time and when it was our turn, we went in and chatted a bit. He asked some questions during the consultation and said it was time for the scan.

Hmm, as soon as he did the scan, his face changed. The look on his face scared me. He said to us and I quote “we have to get your baby out this weekend”. I said to him, no please, I will rest more, eat better and every other thing I could think of because I suffered anemia throughout the pregnancy so I thought I only needed to take care of myself a little more. However he said to me that the only way my baby could survive was if he was taken out by the weekend and so, without much choice, I got admitted and got the first steriod shot almost immediately, for the lungs to develop.

Long story short, on Saturday, two days after the gynae visit, at 10:18am, my son was delivered and he weighed 1.6kg. He had to be taken out asap due to what was explained to me as “placenta insufficiency”. He was no longer receiving enough blood and oxygen from me which explained why he didn’t have enough strength to kick when we sang/played his favorite songs. Fast forward to date, he is now 5 years old and is very healthy and very intelligent. He makes me super proud and is such a sweet little boy! That is my miracle boy with his little sister in the picture : )

Did I cry during that experience? Of course, several times! The worst part for me was when I was discharged five days after delivery and had to go home without my baby boy. That surely wasn’t the plan, no, not at all. But guess what? I survived it! How? It felt like I wouldn’t be able get through the situation. To be honest, not quite sure but I went to NICU almost every day and took him expressed milk, did the kangaroo anytime the nursing sisters allowed me to and most importantly, I kept praying. It took him a while before he gained 2kg, the special expected weight gain for preemies. He eventually got to 2kg and he could have his first bath!! Exactly four weeks after, we could take him home! Oh the joy and excitement!!

Looking back now, I realize that there are lessons to pick from the experience. Number one, no matter how difficult a situation looks, it will always get better with time and if you believe. I prayed so hard and hoped that we wouldn’t spend more than a week but in the fullness of time (4 weeks) he was discharged. Yes, not as quickly as I wanted but he was discharged and has been with us since then. I am super grateful for how healthy he has been since then. Lesson two, please pay attention to your body and your baby whilst pregnant. Keep a record of kicks and compare. If not sure, see a gynae. I would have seen someone else, just to be sure. The third lesson is that pregnant women should not leave their shopping till the last minute! No, don’t do that!! Start buying things in bits and pieces. My sister had to go and do all my baby shopping in one day and in a rush. She was shopping whilst I was in the theater. I don’t think that would have been a good experience for her and for me as I didn’t get to choose what I really wanted but to be honest, I loved all that she bought. I am sure there are many more lessons from this experience but I will stop here. Please feel free to leave more lessons in the comment section so mothers-to-be can learn from them.

Thank you so much for reading, I am glad you stopped by. What do you think of this experience? The birth of my second child is another lengthy story, for another post๐Ÿ™‚ Have you had any experiences that you look back and are not quite sure how you survived it? Let’s read it, it might encourage someone out there! I hope mine has encouraged someone out there and let them know that they will pull through and all will be well๐Ÿ˜‡ please like and share till someone who needs to read this, gets to read it. And kindly subscribe for more life experiences in short blogs (I hope this qualifies as short).

Keep well, stay safe. Bye for now.