How JGirl was born~ Baby #2

Hi, I hope you are well and keeping safe. I am well, thanks for asking : ) First day back at work wasn’t so bad after all. I spent half of it replying emails that had piled up from students’ enquiries and putting in some applications. Some students also called to inform me that they had received their visas. So I can say my day went well. I’ve had dinner and now about to put lil miss J to bed and it is amazing how much she has grown! My baby will be two years old on the first of February! That is less than a month to go. Time flies indeed. Feels like yesterday when I spent three weeks in hospital to have her! Read below a very summarized version of her delivery.

Just like her brother’s birth, I thought I was going for a gynae visit but ended up having my bundle of joy. If you haven’t read about JBoy’s gynae visit turned into a delivery story, here is the link Gynaecologist visit or delivery? He was born at 33 weeks and is now five years old, turns six on the 28th of February (he already knows what cake he wants, usually knows the character cake he wants like a year or two before, lol). I will write about all his cakes and post the pictures off all the ones I find. Both my babies were born in February, not planned at all. One had an April due date and the other was meant to be born in March but I didn’t have the final say. Back to my story.

This time, I no longer had medical aid and had to register at an Academic hospital as that was what we could afford at the time. My first child was born at a private hospital, all fancy and classy, well, we had to face reality and use what we could afford. Thankfully, I received 100% quality of treatment at both hospitals. On the 21st of January 2019, with pregnancy almost 32 weeks, I went for my gynae visit in Pretoria, about 40 minutes from where we live. I got there and joined the queue. When it was my turn, I did all the tests we were asked to do, which included the urine test. We did all those checks before seeing the doctor, actually, a team of doctors because my case was a special case. Due my existing health condition, both my pregnancies were considered high risk. When it was my turn, I went in, and realized that they were not as chatty as before. I like to talk and make people talk as well, making jokes and all but that day was different. They said to me that they found a high level of protein in my urine and that my blood pressure was quite high. I always had low blood pressure, some times even too low so this was strange. I was told that I had to be admitted immediately. Funny enough, the one things that came to mind was my job- what do I say? I only asked for a day off and I had promised that my pregnancy wouldn’t interfere with my job so how was I going to ask for one more day? The doctor wrote me a sick leave note to solve that. I wasn’t too bothered with my son because he and his father got along very well and I knew they would be able to function without me for a few days. Little did I know that I was going to be there for the next three weeks.

Yes, I was there up until the 5th of February, 2019! I was placed on admission on the 21st of January with the hope that the protein in my urine would be back to normal and that my BP would normalize. Well, neither happened and I had to be there till I reached 34 weeks and baby was brought out. The time there was not easy for me. I try not to be a workaholic but I had to have my laptop brought in so I could do some work. Not too much but enough to clear out urgent matters and to keep me distracted from being in hospital. That gave me some sanity, a little bit, lol. My legs also started swelling up so much like I had never seen them before and I gained a lot of weight! I am very small in stature and had never gone past 59kg (pregnancy weight) so when I weighed 68kgs from a normal weight of 52kgs, I am sure you can imagine how swollen and puffy I looked. It was preeclampsia!! My diet was changed and I got so many treatments, all sorts and when it kept worsening, I was given the 1st of February for emergency C-Section and by 10:36am on the date, lil’ miss J was born and I also requested for BTL and got it done same time. Baby weighed 2.01kg and breathed fine but was placed in NICU for 48 hours to be observed. She was discharged two days later, before me! But of course, she had to stay with me till I was discharged on the 5th of February.

I hadn’t done my shopping! Oh no, not again, the exact same thing happened with JBoy and it happened again. I am usually a last minute shopper, for almost everything. So bad that I still shopped a day before my wedding so, yeah, that is my nature and will make plans to change one day. This time however, my sister that did the shopping the other was not available so my husband and one of his friends at that time did my baby girl’s shopping! Can you imagine that at all? They tried, got the basics and then they bought a blanket that I would never have bought had I done the shopping but I had to suck it up hahaha. We still use that blanket till date and lil’ miss J now knows how to say the word “blanket” when she wants me to put her on my back with it. It is our special blankie.

Same lessons from my previous gynae post, things seems really hard when we are in it and experiencing it but looking back now, there is so much to be thankful for. She was born at 34 weeks but did not need the NICU. If she had, like her brother needed it and had to be there for four weeks, we wouldn’t have been able to afford it financially, driving back and forth, visiting, taking expressed breast milk and we wouldn’t have been able to afford renting a place close by so we were grateful that five days after her birth, we both went home. No one was left behind. So grateful to God for that. Also, my mom arrived two days after and I was so glad that yet again, we decided to apply for her visa earlier than necessary so she flew down as soon as she received her visa, literally a day after! So for things like organising a visa or planning an event and bigger things, I am more organised but baby shopping, not so much. That is why we all have our strengths and weakness right?

What do you think about my experience? Being placed on admission at 32 weeks for both pregnancies? Having two preemies? They are now both super healthy and strong. When someone says their water broke, I just smile, I have no idea what that feels like. All in all, I am very grateful and thankful for both of them. So different and yet so alike. Do you know anyone who had a preemie and is worried? Tell them all will be well! I know people’s stories and situations are different but we can draw strength and inspiration and courage from the stories of others! That helped me a lot. I will stop here for now. I know it was such a long read and if you read up to this point, thank you!

Failure to Launch!

kurt-cotoaga-0b5g9_pnMqc-unsplashFailure to Launch Movie (2006)

There is a 2016 Romance/Comedy movie produced by Scott Rudin and directed by Tom Dey where the guy failed to launch because he was comfortable! The main acts were my two favorite at the time Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. Tripp (played by Matthew) was a 35 year old man who didn’t want to leave his parents home to stand on his feet. He obviously scared women off, I mean who wants to be with a man who still lives with his parents and is proud of it? They all dumped him. His parents then planned to “employ” Paula to help get him out! Paula (played by Sarah) believed that men continue to live at home because they have low esteem and her plan was to help him boost his confidence. Long story short, I have the same experience but in a different way.

 

I opened up my first blog in 2014, and then 2016, and then in 2018 and then now but I never really launched out. Why? If anyone asks me, I can’t really say why. I enjoy all forms of writing, academic, fiction and more especially writing about my experiences. I feel relaxed and write so much. For university assignments and research proposals, my issues were always writing way too much and struggling to stick to the word limit.

Why didn’t I launch out? It could be because I was like Tripp, hiding in my comfort zone. Not like I was comfortable with being so knowledgeable, understanding, wise and how helpful I can be in terms of research and keeping all that to myself. However something just held me back. I was comfortable with those who knew me chatting with me to say, hey Seun, how do I write a research proposal and I sent links or someone says please I need to open an Instagram business page and I help them design a logo and open up the account for them. Or someone says they are struggling with how to define their eyebrows and I send a short video clip to show them how to. Or someone says their meatpies don’t close up when they bake them and I show them what to do. I know God has blessed me and I am so grateful for that. So why didn’t I launch out? No idea. Probably Paula was right to attach it to low self esteem or I can add lack of confidence and guess what, like Tripp, most of my friends dumped me! Ouch.

 

Anyways, I am glad that I have finally launched out, hence the name “shefinallywrites”. This is also to say that my failure to launch early enough means that I have to share some of the stories and experiences that I would have shared back then. My initial plan was to post every Friday night but I think I will make it weekend posts. I will write as I get the opportunity to and post immediately so pardon me if there are no catchy phrases or links or anything expert bloggers do right now, I promise I will get there. If necessary. Get ready to read and read and read from me and please encourage me by interacting with the posts, thank you!

 

I think I need to stop for now and be back in my next post. Do have a lovely weekend and remember that you matter, never forget that. You mean the world to someone, at least someone. Someone out there is inspired by you, either secretly or you know. Keep well, stay safe and stay strong!! See ya 🙂

Welcome once again :)

This is my welcome message and I am so glad that you are reading this because it means that this lady finally launched out. Honestly, I am not quite sure what has held her back for so long but as with life, when it’s time, then it’s time. Wait, why am I writing in third person singular? Well, she is me and I am very happy to be the one that you will be reading from every Friday night and I hope we get to relate with one another and learn from one another.

Mostly, I just like to pour out my thoughts and I find that I feel relieved when I am able to write. It makes me feel like I have spoken to someone and they heard me. Which means that now, I will be sharing my life experiences, knowledge, wisdom, lifestyle and thoughts with you, yes you and I hope you get to do the same. I also will write about life as a woman who is a wife, mother, has a career and has businesses she is trying to establish. What are my coping techniques? How do I find time for me? Am I a strict parent? Is my hair afro? All these things I will write about and more.

I think I need to stop for now 🙂 and if you read it to this point, I am saying welcome once again, thank you for clicking and reading. Does that rhyme? Yes, a little bit.

Stayed tuned to read more from me. I am glad that she finally writes. I look forward to reading from you from time to time in the comment section. Keep well.