Does Kindness Really Come Back?

dayne-topkin-u4bZQUeo2Q8-unsplashHi guys, thanks for stopping by to read this. I will make it a quick one : )

Does kindness really come back to you? Does kindness get repaid? Does something happen to you and you are able to link it with something you did for someone else? Do you ever feel like your acts of kindness never gets “rewarded”? 

Well for me, there is no straight answer to these questions because for many years, I’ve felt unrewarded for some things I did for people. Not that I expected a reward from the people I was being kind to or helpful towards but I expected that when it is my turn in the future, I would also get help. For example, I’ve always always loved children and helped as many people as I could with their children for as long as I can remember. I babysat children for fre so their parents could go out or go write exams or attend job interviews or simply just rest. At some point back then if a school bus drove past on my street and I was outside, one could hear children calling out my name : ) Those children really enjoyed being with me. Fast forward to now, I thought that I would enjoy the same but no, nothing of that sort. It is either I cancel that event I had planned or hubby stays with the children,  almost every time!! That being said, I am glad I helped out those parents years ago, at least now I know how much it meant to them because at that time, it meant nothing to me, I simply enjoyed taking care of children.

However, there is one act of kindness that I did and got rewarded for even though I had no clue that I would. Hubby and I live in a really small 2 bed apartment and because of how things are financially, we let the room out from time to time for Aibnb. One day, we got a request from a friend of a friend asking us to please host their cousin for a week, for free. There was no connection, a friend of a friend’s cousin? Anyway, we accepted to help and guess what? The lady we agreed to help called me, mid way during their journey at a stop over to say that she was coming with her cousin. Hmm, I felt it was too late to complain and hosted them. The lady slept in the guest room and the cousin slept on the couch. We cooked for them throughout their stay and made them feel comfortable. We took them on a mini tour of the city and they generally had a nice time.

A few weeks later, the cousin’s cousin called to ask if I was still job hunting as I had been desperately searching for a job to support my family and so I said yes. Long story short, he helped out, advised and recommended me for a job. I did three interviews and I got the job! Was my act of kindness in hosting a stranger rewarded? Yes. Did I expect it? No, not in the least bit.

Moral of my story, do what you can, help where you can, be kind when you can, reach out, smile to someone. Acts of kindness are usually rewarded but mostly in ways we do not expect. When something good happens to you, it actually might be as a result of something unrelated that you did for someone else, ages ago or weeks ago, depends on how quickly it happens. That is how I choose to see it. 

What do you think? Does kindness really come back to you? I would like to read from you and possibly learn a thing or two. Thank you for reading, see you next. 

Keep well and stay safe!

Failure to Launch!

kurt-cotoaga-0b5g9_pnMqc-unsplashFailure to Launch Movie (2006)

There is a 2016 Romance/Comedy movie produced by Scott Rudin and directed by Tom Dey where the guy failed to launch because he was comfortable! The main acts were my two favorite at the time Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. Tripp (played by Matthew) was a 35 year old man who didn’t want to leave his parents home to stand on his feet. He obviously scared women off, I mean who wants to be with a man who still lives with his parents and is proud of it? They all dumped him. His parents then planned to “employ” Paula to help get him out! Paula (played by Sarah) believed that men continue to live at home because they have low esteem and her plan was to help him boost his confidence. Long story short, I have the same experience but in a different way.

 

I opened up my first blog in 2014, and then 2016, and then in 2018 and then now but I never really launched out. Why? If anyone asks me, I can’t really say why. I enjoy all forms of writing, academic, fiction and more especially writing about my experiences. I feel relaxed and write so much. For university assignments and research proposals, my issues were always writing way too much and struggling to stick to the word limit.

Why didn’t I launch out? It could be because I was like Tripp, hiding in my comfort zone. Not like I was comfortable with being so knowledgeable, understanding, wise and how helpful I can be in terms of research and keeping all that to myself. However something just held me back. I was comfortable with those who knew me chatting with me to say, hey Seun, how do I write a research proposal and I sent links or someone says please I need to open an Instagram business page and I help them design a logo and open up the account for them. Or someone says they are struggling with how to define their eyebrows and I send a short video clip to show them how to. Or someone says their meatpies don’t close up when they bake them and I show them what to do. I know God has blessed me and I am so grateful for that. So why didn’t I launch out? No idea. Probably Paula was right to attach it to low self esteem or I can add lack of confidence and guess what, like Tripp, most of my friends dumped me! Ouch.

 

Anyways, I am glad that I have finally launched out, hence the name “shefinallywrites”. This is also to say that my failure to launch early enough means that I have to share some of the stories and experiences that I would have shared back then. My initial plan was to post every Friday night but I think I will make it weekend posts. I will write as I get the opportunity to and post immediately so pardon me if there are no catchy phrases or links or anything expert bloggers do right now, I promise I will get there. If necessary. Get ready to read and read and read from me and please encourage me by interacting with the posts, thank you!

 

I think I need to stop for now and be back in my next post. Do have a lovely weekend and remember that you matter, never forget that. You mean the world to someone, at least someone. Someone out there is inspired by you, either secretly or you know. Keep well, stay safe and stay strong!! See ya 🙂

Welcome once again :)

This is my welcome message and I am so glad that you are reading this because it means that this lady finally launched out. Honestly, I am not quite sure what has held her back for so long but as with life, when it’s time, then it’s time. Wait, why am I writing in third person singular? Well, she is me and I am very happy to be the one that you will be reading from every Friday night and I hope we get to relate with one another and learn from one another.

Mostly, I just like to pour out my thoughts and I find that I feel relieved when I am able to write. It makes me feel like I have spoken to someone and they heard me. Which means that now, I will be sharing my life experiences, knowledge, wisdom, lifestyle and thoughts with you, yes you and I hope you get to do the same. I also will write about life as a woman who is a wife, mother, has a career and has businesses she is trying to establish. What are my coping techniques? How do I find time for me? Am I a strict parent? Is my hair afro? All these things I will write about and more.

I think I need to stop for now 🙂 and if you read it to this point, I am saying welcome once again, thank you for clicking and reading. Does that rhyme? Yes, a little bit.

Stayed tuned to read more from me. I am glad that she finally writes. I look forward to reading from you from time to time in the comment section. Keep well.